Funny Tumblr Posts About Being Bi

I'm bisexual.

At my age, if I want sex, I have to buy it.

Rumors are that Harry Styles is BiSexual according to a recent interview

I hear they're going to change the name of the band to 'Both Directions'

I just realized I'm a bisexual.

Every time I have sex, I have to buy it.

"There are three kinds of sex..."

"There's homosexual sex, for people who have sex at home, bisexual, for people who buy sex, and there's trisexual—that's me, I'll try anything!"

Credit to Francis, the 80-year-old, flamboyantly hilarious artist I met on the train yesterday morning.

I think i'm bisexual...

Every time I want sex I have to buy it.

What do you call a spinning, bisexual dinosaur that loves Juno & Superbad?

Biceratops

What do you call a bisexual Scandinavian

A bi-king.

I know that was terrible.
Also I'm not being racist because i'm from Scandinavia.

I'm a bisexual who just broke up and is now single.

I guess you could say I'm on standbi.

What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash?

Bisexual.

On our third date, my girlfriend told me that she was bisexual.

I broke it off with her because I definitely need sex more than every two weeks.

What do bisexuals use for transportation?

Bicycles.

You can explore bisexual standbi reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bisexual beta dad jokes. There are also bisexual puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he came out to be bisexual?

It's okay, we're Bi-son.

How do we know showers are bisexual?

Every naked person they see turns them on

Did you hear about the ancient bisexual motorcycle gang made up of Norse monarchs?

They're called the bi-kings

I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor...

I still hate you.

What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

Bisexual Son

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.

Me: Yep.

Dad: Or a female partner.

Me: Yep.

Dad: And that means you're bi.

Me: Yep.

Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Bisexual girls are like spaghetti.

Straight until wet.

Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: or a female partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: And that means you're bi.

Me: Yep

Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Did you just...

What type of bear is bisexual and experiences mood swings?

Bi-polar.

My friend was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder

It took an hour to convince him he wasn't a bisexual polar bear.

guitarists are pretty good as bisexual lovers

on the one hand, their fingering must be pretty good; on the other, their wrist action must be pretty good too.

What do you call a bisexual prostitute?

An omniwhore

Just realized I'm bi-sexual

I have to pay to get sex.

You're bisexual and single?

I guess you're BI-your self.

I enjoy jokes, but jokes about giving facials to gay or bisexual males?

Come on guys

What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats.

Bisexual.

What do a double hinged gate and a bi-sexual have in common?

They swing both ways.

I rather be bisexual than bilingual

It's easier on the tongue.

I wish I was bisexual

I'd have twice as many people to reject me.

The main problem with being bisexual

The main problem with being bisexual is that now there's twice as many people in the world that won't have sex with me.

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.

Credits: my bud

What do you call a single, bisexual person?

A person on standbi

Why don't bisexuals eat at Panda Express?

Because they're always telling them to pick a side.

If robert frost was bisexual...

He would have gone both ways.

Did I tell you my wife is bisexual?

Every time I want to have sex together I have to buy her something.

I was bisexual once

Sadly it just meant I got turned down by twice as many people

TIL that the word bisexual...

Most often refers to once every two sexuals, rather than twice a sexual.

What do you call an Arab man who owns both a goat and a camel?

Bisexual

I knew a bisexual girl who was very lonely

I guess she was all bi herself.

What does a chemist say when he comes out of the closet for being bisexual?

Iodine, Americium, Bismuth.

What do you call a bisexual racecar driver?

The fast and the curious

What do you call it when a bisexual person shoots down flirtations from both men and women?

A double bi-pass!

A bisexual aproches love in two ways

By thinking straight and by not thinking straight.

Did you know shower heads are bisexual

Every naked person they see turns them on

Being bisexual is like a mix of being straight and being gay

It's graight

When you are bisexual, transgender and a cyclist

You are hated by 3 people:

The homophobes, the transphobes and everyone else.

my sister keeps on flipping between being bisexual and gay

it's almost like she can't think straight!

The hulk is the only bisexual marvel character

He smashes everything

What happens to a bisexual when they can't find a partner?

They're on StandBi

What do you call a motorcycle club comprised entirely of bisexual monarchs from Scandinavia?

The Bikings.

Some people are bi-sexual

I'm just bi-myself

at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your straight, gay, or bisexual.

at the end of the day, its night.

It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual. At the end of the day,

It's night

I was in line at a busy bank...

I was in line at the bank and it was very busy so I had to wait awhile. At the front was a lesbian couple setting up a 529 plan for their new daughter's education. Behind them was a gay man waitinf to refinance his car. A bisexual couple was behind the gay guy talking about a home equity loan. Behind them was a trans person looking for HSA advice for upcoming treatment. I just had to wait behind the LGBT queue.

The hardest thing about being bisexual

Is trying to remember if I'm suppose to have sex twice a week, or once every two weeks.

Imagine telling someone you're bisexual.

Pessimist: That doubles the number of people who are going to reject you.

Optimist: That doubles the number of people you can date.

Realist: 2 times 0 is still 0.

A recent study shows that you can't be friends with the gender that you are attracted to.

Guess I am bisexual now.

Why call it bisexual...

... When you could say ambisexterous?

Some say 1 out of 4 of your friends are gay or bisexual..

I hope it's Ted, he's cute!

What is a a bisexual person doing when they're not dating anybody?

They're on standbi

Do you know why Spiderman is bisexual?

Because he swings both ways.

What do a bisexual monarch and a cycling enthusiast have in common?

Biking

A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move

"This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."

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